


What A Girl Wants

by cashtonpoo



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Cake, Drug Use, Eventual Muke, F/F, F/M, Implied Smut, M/M, Muke - Freeform, brief mentions of smut, but not a serious addiction, her parents are kinda racist and hate 5sos, her step-dad is cool though, not really - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-10 18:05:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3299036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cashtonpoo/pseuds/cashtonpoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When seventeen year old Asha gets to go to derpcon with her best friend Ashley, she doesn't expect to find out that two of the members of her favorite band are in a relationship, she expects even less to find out that one of those members is cheating with another band member, and she couldn't have even predicted to break up their relationship and make Calum Hood hate her and Luke Hemming her best friend. All she really wants is Calum to not hate her and to graduate high school in June.</p><p>Or the one when a black girl goes to derpcon and gets in the middle of Luke and Calum's Relationship and ends up breaking them up and making Calum hate her... (Don't read if you're sensitive to race jokes)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Road to Derpcon

**Author's Note:**

> This is my frost work on here so any comments and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Also, I've also posted this on wattpad so I'm not stealing it if you see it on there.

I sighed deeply as my phone blared greenlight by my favorite band, 5 Seconds of Summer. I turned off the alarm and looked over at the time on my cable box that was atop my TV stand on the other side of the room, 5:17 am. My phone ringing with a 5sos song this early could only mean one thing, one of the boys was online, probably just waking up in London since that's where they were headed when I went to bed last night. I yawned and wiped my eyes before adjusting my sleeping cap, making sure my wrapped hair was still secure before I opened my twitter app. Sure enough there were about 10 of my mutuals spamming Calum for a follow. I had some spam tweets stored in my drafts so I sent those one by one, hoping I would be one of the lucky few he would follow before I had to get up and get ready for school at 6. I internally sighed, wishing I would've just went to public school in Harlem instead of going all the way to Stuyvesant, but my options were that or Brooklyn tech so I guess I made the better choice in the end.

After I sent 100 tweets I lost hope a bit and started to doze off a bit until my phone started to flash its LED notification light and vibrate uncontrollably. I peeked at the notifications and from what I could see, when they weren't moving at lightning speed, most of the mentions were saying congratulations. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I unlocked my phone to see that Calum had followed me. It took everything in me not to run around my apartment screaming but I knew I would only wake my mother up and she'd tell me to shut up about those "demon white boys" as she calls them.

You see, my mother is West Indian and my father is from the south so it's safe to assume they're not exactly supportive of my taste in music, specifically 5sos, Mayday Parade, The Cab, etc. My step dad that lived with us was about as supportive as he could be without earning glares from my mother. I did a little happy dance in bed before going to Calum's profile and taking a screen-shot of the "follows you" watermark being there and setting it as my lock screen. Next I updated my twitter bio, putting "Calum+Band/4" into it and smiling that I could finally do that. After I replied to my cute congratulatory mentions I drifted into a blissful sleep for another 20 minutes before I was waken up by my phone's alarm.

It was a terrible train ride to school this morning, and not only was it a Monday but it was also a bad hair day because of the end-of-summer humidity. It's now early October but it still feels summer-y here most days. I walked down the halls towards the senior space where all the seniors' lockers were and grabbed my books for first and second period after hanging my jaket up in the full sized locker space.

Out of nowhere, there were hands covering my eyes and I smiled, knowing that it could only possible be my best friend Ashley. Ashley and I have been friends since we both did the summer bridge program before 9th grade started. We were both outcasts, her because she looked geeky, with her pigtails and braces, and me being one of the only black girls that even got into Stuyvesant. Eventually I blended into the crowd of students in the school and met some girls a grade ahead of me that were also minorities and they helped me to not see myself as being so different than everyone else because of my skin, Katie and Samantha were really close friends of mine, however they graduated last June and I don't really expect them to still want to talk to and hang around a high schooler, even if I am a senior.

"Good morning Asha, how are you today," Asley asked once she removed her hands from my eyes.

"I'm freaking amazing, I got a Calum follow this morning. This day couldn't possibly get better," I exclaimed. Boy was I wrong.

"Speaking of 5sos, guess who won two tickets to Derpcon and just happens to have a parent that has business in LA that weekend," Ashley proclaimed excitedly.

"Ashley, you did not, you do not, I can not," I squealed in excitement.

"Oh contraire my pal, I did, and you're coming with me to LA so we can have adventures for the weekend and meet hot guys and swim in the Atlantic ocean," my brown haired and green eyed friend stated.

"Ashley, the Atlantic ocean is on the east coast, you meant the Pacific," I corrected.

"Same difference," she said as we giggled excitedly on our way to first period.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the month that followed Ashley’s news my mother maliciously gave me a long list of chores that I’d have to finish while maintaining my 4.0 gpa and not having any absent or tardy marks, detentions, or missed practices for volleyball. Needless to say that the night before the trip I was the kind of tired one good night of sleep wouldn’t fix. I’d had my bag packed since the day Ashley told me about her winning tickets and inviting me to go with her so now all that was left was to get some rest before we had to catch a flight at 6 am, meaning we would need to be at the airport by 3:30 to get through security and get some food in our stomachs before we had to board the plane, courtesy of the 5sos boys themselves. Yet I couldn’t sleep due to excitement. I decided that since Calum was online again, I’d do a dm spree for people without his follow. I tweeted “RT for DMs to Calum, I’m gonna spam him the link to this tweet” and around 20 people RTd it within the first minute that I tweeted it. I DMed Calum the link before adding “Please follow the users that Rtd this and I can’t wait to see you at Derpcon in two days xx”

I started scrolling through my timeline and was so engrossed in pictures of Michael after their show in Phoenix yesterday nigh that I hadn’t noticed that I had a new DM. I clicked to my DMs on my laptop and nearly fainted that it was Calum.

"I followed most of those people but I’m on follow limit, I’m sorry"

Awwww, it’s cute that he’s apologizing for that. Now I’m not specifically a Calum girl but, I mean, they’re all pretty hot and I’ll take whoever I can get.

"It’s fine sunshine, thanks on the behalf of those you followed and thanks for replying to me. I love you calpal"

I closed the DM, not expecting a response so I took a screenshot on my phone and texted it to Ashley, adding “He totally wants me” to the message with a laughing emoji.

She replied shortly after saying she couldn’t sleep and to call her on iChat, to which I complied.

“Asha, you’re really a blessed girl, you got a DM from Calum,” Ashley said as soon as the call connected.

“Coming from the girl that has all of of 5sos, Liam Payne and Harry follows,” I joked. “Man Calum really gave me life just now. He’s so cute and thoughtful I wanna cry,” I said.

“You’re being so fluffy I wanna die,” she replied.

“We’re gonna be terrible in the morning at the airport and it’s a three hour flight,” I groaned.

After I spoke a new message popped up on my screen.

"Of course I’d reply to someone as beautiful as you ;) what’s up sweetheart?"

My jaw dropped and I open the DM on my phone just to make sure my screen wasn’t playing tricks on me. “Ashley,” I gulped, “I think I’m going into cardiac arrest.”

I faced my phone screen towards the laptop camera so she could see the message. “He totally wants some chocolate in his life girl, what are you gonna say to him?” Ashley inquired.

“I have no clue,” I told her, which was true. I actually have no clue how to flirt or whatever. I’ve only had middle school boyfriends and those barely even count. I have no clue what to do.

“Say something funny flirty like ‘Are you even bout that swirl life?’” Ashley suggested, cracking up.

I giggled and shrugged before typing up a response and pressing send.

"Cal, are you even bout this swirl life? Can you even have chocolate before bed?"

I read her the message and she cracked up, “I can’t wait to meet them just to see what it’s gonna be like to see you guys together in person. Are you bringing you copy of the book so they can sign it?”

“Great idea, I’ll pack it now,” I said before stuffing the book on top of all my clothes in my suitcase. I know it’s only one weekend but you never know what you may need, even if you do check the weather.

"I can have all the chocolate before bed I want, mum’s not here"

“Calum really reminds me of those guys in the nightclub we went to that tried so hard to flirt but they just failed terribly,“ I joked, recounting the time we actually used our fake IDs, before showing her the latest message. She did nothing but laugh as I typed up my next reply.

"Isn’t Ashton like your Mum on tour? I’m gonna tell on youuuuu"

Then I tweeted “@Ashton5sos Calum’s eating chocolate before bed”

I looked at the clock, 2 am. I’m gonna have to start getting ready, seeing as Ashley and her father would be coming to pick me up in their town car with their driver around 2:30. “Ash, I’ll see you in a few, I’ve gotta get dressed and shower.”

“Okay, kisses,” Ashley said, bidding me farewell as if I wouldn’t see her in a sort while, before I hung up.

After I hung up I saw that Calum quoted my tweet and replied.

“”@Asha5sos: @ashton5sos Calum’s eating chocolate before bed” No I’m not”

I laughed out loud, literally. Then Ashton got into it.

“@Asha5sos @Calum5sos ….I won’t even ask. This sounds sexual.”

I laughed again and favorited both his and Calum’s tweets before getting into the shower and getting dressed. I decided I’d leave my hair wrapped since I’d probably sleep on the plane, and I threw on a pair of denim shorts with gray sweats over, since it’d undoubtedly be freezing in the airport but hot once we got to LA, a white tank top with a gray hoodie and a pair of low-top converse.

“Maybe it is sexual. You’ll never know…@ashton5sos @asha5sos”

Oh God, Calum is going to send me into the hospital before I even meet him like wtf. After I got dressed, I went into my parents’ room and kissed their foreheads as I told them bye and hugged them. My step-father had just got home from his night shift and my mom would need to get up soon for work. After telling my groggy parents goodbye I went to tell my little sister bye, luckily she was already awake. The thing is my little sister is really only my half-sister and we're often questioned about how I'm the color of Hershey's and she's the color of honey. It gets annoying but I still love my baby sister, even if she's only a year and a half younger than me.

"Bre, why're you up?" I asked.

"Wanted to say bye 's all," she mumbled before getting out of bed and hugging me tightly, "Gonna miss you this weekend, please don't die or anything in California, I love you sis."

I chucked and smiled at her adorable words. "Bre I'll be fine, I'll be back before you even have time to miss me," I exclaimed.  
"I guess, just have fun and all because I won't let you leave again until college," she said as she beamed at me.

I kissed the top of her head before snapping the elastic of her sleeping cap causing her to wince in pain, before grabbing my bag and trudging out of the apartment and down a flight of stairs. Once I was out of the building I immediately spotted the car Ashley's dad had sent. I smiled to myself, this is going to be a great time.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been about an hour since the plane took off from New York and I was planning on sleeping but since I had a window seat I decided on looking as the sky's colors contoured and changed, creating angelic glows over the many cities we flew over. Ashley had been asleep before the plane even took off and her father was hard at work on his laptop courtesy of the plane's open wifi. I decided I'd scroll through twitter and get amp'd up while talking to other winners for derpcon so it wouldn't be awkward meeting them tomorrow. As I was scrolling, of course, there was another DM from Calum.

"Hope you're having a cozy and safe flight, see you later xx"

I felt my face scrunch up in confusion.

"Derpcon isn't today Calum, what are you talking about?"

"I'm not talking about derpcon, you'll see what I mean when you get to LA"

Well that's weird, I wonder what he's got planned. Probably something lame and cheesy for the fans flying in. Without another thought of it I decided to nap a bit before we landed in two more hours, more like an hour and a half now.

I woke up being shaken by Ashley, and I groggily sat upright and stretched as much as I could in the small space. "We're landing soon, fix your hair please," Ashley said. I stuck my tongue out in response and I began to take my hair out of its wrap and brush my thick hair out. I have naturally medium length hair but I wear small amounts of weave to add a bit of length to it. After I was done brushing, combing, and teasing my hair I opened my phone to take a picture of the beautiful view outside the window before tweeting the picture along with "City of Angles, blessing".

"You're so lame for that caption," Ashley tweeted in response.

"Hey :( don't you love me?" I replied.

"You're on this plane with me aren't you?" she tweeted out.

"Touché," I replied.

We both looked up from our phones and burst into a fit of giggles. After a few moments we were instructed to fasten our seatbelts and we landed smoothly. My heart began to race as we exited the plane, letting all the impatient business men off first and slowly walking out of the gate to be greeted by two camera men and the 5sos boys themselves. "Holy shit," I said breathlessly.

"No swearing!" Ashton shouted, chastising me.

"Oh my God! I love you guys what the hell! Oh my God," Ashley exclaimed.

"You guys are too tall for life, can you like crouch so we can hug you? We're literally like five feet tall" Ashley asked politely. They complied and Ashley hugged Michael and I hugged Ashton, while Calum laughed and Luke frowned, "I'm not that tall."

"Luke, I'm 5'2. You're all giants to me, don't feel bad," I cooed sympathetically. Ashley and I both took pictures and selfies with the boys while the cameramen filmed it all. After that Ashley's dad had to be off to a meeting so he left us after telling Ashley to let him know when we got to the hotel.

I asked about the cameras and Michael answered me saying, "Well, we're filming all of our derpcon winners arriving here and then we're sending you guys in a limo to your hotel with winners from another country as a way to get acquainted with each other. Also do you have anything you wanna say to the camera ladies?" Michael said.

"This is like Bad Girls Club," I blurted out before thinking. "You have no idea what that is do you?"

"Not the slightest clue," Ashton said while smiling.

"Well I'd like to say that all of you are officially boyfriend height so to every fan that was wondering, they're very date-able," Ashley said.

"Thanks for that," Michael said, sending a wink to her. She squealed and ran into his arms and hugged him again. "Hey Ash, how long until the next group gets here?"

"About 15 minutes," Ashton replied.

"Where're they from?" I asked.

"Spain," Calum said, "do either of you speak Spanish?"

"I do, Asha speaks French," Ashley said. They looked impressed, "we have foreign language requirements in New York to graduate."

"Cool, so can you like, French kiss too or is that not a part of the class?" Calum asked, obviously attempting to flirt.

"Boy bye," I said with a giggle. "I had to learn that on my own."

"Maybe you could teach me," he said, winking.

"I already said you're not about that swirl life Calum. Stop playing this game," I said, playing hard to get.

A chorus of "ooohhh"s erupted from the other boys and Ashley.

He smirked and said, "How would you know? I could be about that swirl life if I could-“

"Well that's enough of that, we have one more pair of winners to pick up at gate 16 before we have to get them to the hotel. No time to waste," Ashton says separating me from Calum.

Calum made a face at Ashton and he just responded with a chastising glare that caused Calum to shrink into himself and walk towards a different gate. _So Ashton is the tour mum,_ I thought to myself. As we walked I called my step-father, who I knew would just be waking up since its around 11 or something there I think.

“Jesus Asha, do you know what time it is?” he cried when he answered.

“No clue, like 11 something?” I guessed.

“It’s 9 am Asha,” he informed me.

“Oops, I’m sorry. Well we landed a few minutes ago and the 5sos boys were there when we got off the plane so that was great,’ I said happily into the phone.

“That’s great sweetie. Are they totally amazingly beautiful in person?” he asked.

“They’re even better up close dad. I’ll let you get some sleep though. I’ll text you pictures of all of my derpcon adventures. Go back to bed, I love you,” I said.

“Goodnight Asha, have fun and I love you too,” he said before hanging up.

He and I are really close since they’ve been married since before I can even remember, he’s like my real father. My biological father does spend time with me sometimes but I don’t really feel like he’s my father. It’s not like he makes me feel like that it’s just that my step-dad lives with me and he’s there more often. I love them both but my biological dad is just that, biological, we share genetics and that’s really the only connection we have.

After we met up with the winners from Spain we found out they were fluent in English but it was easier for Ashley to just translate some stuff, which established that we’d be friends and spending time with one another. We’ve now arrived at the hotel and we’re waiting on the elevator to our floor. “Couldn’t we just take the stairs? What floor is it on again?” By the way, I am deathly afraid of elevators.

“It’s the twenty-third floor Asha, are you crazy?” Ashley retorted.

I sighed and brought my hand towards my mouth, preparing to bite my nails, but a hand, a more masculine hand, gripped my hand and gave it a light squeeze. I looked up to meet Calum’s beautiful brown eyes just as the elevator doors slid open and we stepped inside.

“Lads, I’ll be right back down in a minute,” he said in his thick accent towards the other band members.

He didn’t speak but he just held my hand the whole way up on the elevator, only letting go to hug the Spanish girls goodbye since they were on floor 21. When the elevator resumed motion and jerked upwards I let out a little shriek and grasped his hand tighter. “It’s okay Asha, I’m right here, it’ll be okay,” he said lowly as he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a hug after releasing my hand. We stayed like that until the elevator dinged, signaling that we’d reached our floor.

“Thank you Calum, you’re really amazing. Really thank you for that,” I said, thanking him.

“Anything for a beautiful supporter that made me who I am today,” he said before breaking into a goofy grin that contagiously made me smile.

“Awww, cute!” Ashley shouted. I’d honestly forgotten she was with us until that moment.

He hugged Ashley and gave my hand a kiss before stepping back into the elevator and pressing the “L” button, heading back to the lobby to meet the other band members. “I took about 50 million pictures of you guys if you want to know what love looks like from the outside,” Ashley said.

“Seriously?” I asked excitedly. She nodded and I excitedly went through the shots on her phone, a smile forming on my lips, this is going to be a fun weekend.

I sighed deeply as my phone blared greenlight by my favorite band, 5 Seconds of Summer. I turned off the alarm and looked over at the time on my cable box that was atop my TV stand on the other side of the room, 5:17 am. My phone ringing with a 5sos song this early could only mean one thing, one of the boys was online, probably just waking up in London since that's where they were headed when I went to bed last night. I yawned and wiped my eyes before adjusting my sleeping cap, making sure my wrapped hair was still secure before I opened my twitter app. Sure enough there were about 10 of my mutuals spamming Calum for a follow. I had some spam tweets stored in my drafts so I sent those one by one, hoping I would be one of the lucky few he would follow before I had to get up and get ready for school at 6. I internally sighed, wishing I would've just went to public school in Harlem instead of going all the way to Stuyvesant, but my options were that or Brooklyn tech so I guess I made the better choice in the end.

After I sent 100 tweets I lost hope a bit and started to doze off a bit until my phone started to flash its LED notification light and vibrate uncontrollably. I peeked at the notifications and from what I could see, when they weren't moving at lightning speed, most of the mentions were saying congratulations. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I unlocked my phone to see that Calum had followed me. It took everything in me not to run around my apartment screaming but I knew I would only wake my mother up and she'd tell me to shut up about those "demon white boys" as she calls them.

You see, my mother is West Indian and my father is from the south so it's safe to assume they're not exactly supportive of my taste in music, specifically 5sos, Mayday Parade, The Cab, etc. My step dad that lived with me was about as supportive as he could be without earning glares from my mother. I did a little happy dance in bed before going to Calum's profile and taking a screen-shot of the "follows you" watermark being there and setting it as my lock screen. Next I updated my twitter bio, putting "Calum+Band/4" into it and smiling that I could finally do that. After I replied to my cute congratulatory mentions from my followers I drifted into a blissful sleep for another 20 minutes before I was woken up by my phone's alarm.

It was a terrible train ride to school this morning, and not only was it a Monday but it was also a bad hair day because of the end-of-summer humidity. It's now early October but it still feels summer-y here most days. I walked down the halls towards the senior space where all the seniors' lockers were and grabbed my books for first and second period after hanging my jacket up in the full sized locker space.

Out of nowhere, there were hands covering my eyes and I smiled, knowing that it could only possible be my best friend Ashley. Ashley and I have been friends since we both did the summer bridge program before 9th grade started. We were both outcasts, her because she looked geeky, with her pigtails and braces, and me being one of the only black girls that even got into Stuyvesant. Eventually I blended into the crowd of students in the school and met some girls a grade ahead of me that were also minorities and they helped me to not see myself as being so different than everyone else because of my skin, Katie and Samantha were really close friends of mine, however they graduated last June and I don't really expect them to still want to talk to and hang around a high school kid, even if I am a senior.

"Good morning Asha, how are you today," Ashley asked once she removed her hands from my eyes.

"I'm freaking amazing, I got a Calum follow this morning. This day couldn't possibly get better," I exclaimed. Boy was I wrong.

"Speaking of 5sos, guess who won two tickets to Derpcon and just happens to have a parent that has business in LA that weekend," Ashley proclaimed excitedly.

"Ashley, you did not, you do not, I cannot," I squealed in excitement.

"Oh contraire my pal, I did, and you're coming with me to LA so we can have adventures for the weekend and meet hot guys and swim in the Atlantic ocean," my brown haired and green eyed friend stated.

"Ashley, the Atlantic ocean is on the east coast, you meant the Pacific," I corrected.

"Same difference," she said as we giggled excitedly on our way to first period.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the month that followed Ashley’s news my mother maliciously gave me a long list of chores that I’d have to finish while maintaining my 4.0 gpa and not having any absent or tardy marks, detentions, or missed practices for volleyball. Needless to say that the night before the trip I was the kind of tired one good night of sleep wouldn’t fix. I’d had my bag packed since the day Ashley told me about her winning tickets and inviting me to go with her so now all that was left was to get some rest before we had to catch a flight at 6 am, meaning we would need to be at the airport by 3:30 to get through security and get some food in our stomachs before we had to board the plane, courtesy of the 5sos boys themselves. Yet I couldn’t sleep due to excitement. I decided that since Calum was online again, I’d do a dm spree for people without his follow. I tweeted “RT for DMs to Calum, I’m gonna spam him the link to this tweet” and around 20 people RTd it within the first minute that I tweeted it since I was rather popular in the twitter fam. I DMed Calum the link a few times before adding “Please follow the users that RTd this and I can’t wait to see you at Derpcon in two days xx”

I started scrolling through my timeline and was so engrossed in pictures of Michael after their show in Phoenix yesterday night that I hadn’t noticed that I had a new DM. I clicked to my DMs on my laptop and nearly fainted that it was Calum.

"I followed most of those people but I’m on follow limit, I’m sorry"

Awwww, it’s cute that he’s apologizing for that. Now I’m not specifically a Calum girl but, I mean, they’re all pretty hot and I’ll take whoever I can get, who wouldn’t?

"It’s fine sunshine, thanks on the behalf of those you followed and thanks for replying to me. I love you calpal"

I closed the DM, not expecting a response so I took a screenshot on my phone and texted it to Ashley, adding “He totally wants me” to the message with a laughing emoji.

She replied shortly after saying she couldn’t sleep and to call her on iChat, to which I complied.

“Asha, you’re really a blessed girl, you got a DM from Calum,” Ashley said as soon as the call connected.

“Coming from the girl that has all of of 5sos, Liam and Harry follows,” I joked. “Man Calum really gave me life just now. He’s so cute and thoughtful I wanna cry,” I said.

“You’re being so fluffy I wanna die,” she replied.

“We’re gonna be terrible in the morning at the airport and it’s a three hour flight,” I groaned.

After I spoke a new message popped up on my screen.

"Of course I’d reply to someone as beautiful as you ;) what’s up sweetheart?"

My jaw dropped and I open the DM on my phone just to make sure my screen wasn’t playing tricks on me. “Ashley,” I gulped, “I think I’m going into cardiac arrest.”

I faced my phone screen towards the laptop camera so she could see the message. “He totally wants some chocolate in his life girl, what are you gonna say to him?” Ashley inquired.

“I have no clue,” I told her, which was true. I actually have no clue how to flirt or whatever. I’ve only had middle school boyfriends and those barely even count. I have no clue what to do.

“Say something funny flirty like ‘Are you even bout that swirl life?’” Ashley suggested, cracking up.

I giggled and shrugged before typing up a response and pressing send.

"Cal, are you even bout this swirl life? Can you even have chocolate before bed?"

I read her the message and she cracked up, “I can’t wait to meet them just to see what it’s gonna be like to see you guys together in person. Are you bringing you copy of the book so they can sign it?”

“Great idea, I’ll pack it now,” I said before stuffing the book on top of all my clothes in my suitcase. I know it’s only one weekend but you never know what you may need, even if you do check the weather.

"I can have all the chocolate before bed I want, mum’s not here"

“Calum really reminds me of those guys in the nightclub we went to that tried so hard to flirt but they just failed terribly,“ I joked, recounting the time we actually used our fake IDs, before showing her the latest message. She did nothing but laugh as I typed up my next reply.

"Isn’t Ashton like your Mum on tour? I’m gonna tell on youuuuu"

Then I tweeted “@Ashton5sos Calum’s eating chocolate before bed.” Which got some really funny replies from my followers who had no idea what was going on.

I looked at the clock, 2 am. I’m gonna have to start getting ready, seeing as Ashley and her father would be coming to pick me up in their town car with their driver around 2:30. “Ash, I’ll see you in a few, I’ve gotta get dressed and shower.”

“Okay, kisses,” Ashley said, bidding me farewell as if I wouldn’t see her in a sort while, before I hung up.

After I hung up I saw that Calum quoted my tweet and replied.

“”@Asha5sos: @ashton5sos Calum’s eating chocolate before bed” No I’m not”

I laughed out loud, literally. Then Ashton got into it.

“@Asha5sos @Calum5sos ….I won’t even ask. This sounds sexual.”

I laughed again and favorited both his and Calum’s tweets before getting into the shower and getting dressed. I decided I’d leave my hair wrapped and just throw a beanie on over it since I’d probably sleep on the plane, and I threw on a pair of denim shorts with gray sweats over, since it’d undoubtedly be freezing in the airport but hot once we got to LA, a white tank top with a gray hoodie and a pair of low-top converse.

“Maybe it is sexual. You’ll never know…@ashton5sos @asha5sos”

Oh God, Calum is going to send me into the hospital before I even meet him like wtf. After I got dressed, I went into my parents’ room and kissed their foreheads as I told them bye and hugged them. My step-father had just got home from his night shift and my mom would need to get up soon for work. After telling my groggy parents goodbye I went to tell my little sister bye, luckily she was already awake. The thing is my little sister is really only my half-sister and we're often questioned about how I'm the color of Hershey's and she's the color of honey. It gets annoying but I still love my baby sister, even if she's only a year and a half younger than me.

"Bre, why're you up?" I asked.

"Wanted to say bye's all," she mumbled before getting out of bed and hugging me tightly, "Gonna miss you this weekend, please don't die or anything in California, I love you sis."

I chucked and smiled at her adorable words. "Bre I'll be fine, I'll be back before you even have time to miss me," I exclaimed.  
"I guess, just have fun and all because I won't let you leave again until college," she said as she beamed at me.

I kissed the top of her head before snapping the elastic of her sleeping cap causing her to wince in pain, before grabbing my bag and trudging out of the apartment and down a flight of stairs. Once I was out of the building I immediately spotted the car Ashley's dad had sent. I smiled to myself, this is going to be a great time.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been about an hour since the plane took off from New York and I was planning on sleeping but since I had a window seat I decided on looking as the sky's colors contoured and changed, creating angelic glows over the many cities we flew over. Ashley had been asleep before the plane even took off and her father was hard at work on his laptop courtesy of the plane's open wifi. I decided I'd scroll through twitter and get amped up while talking to other winners for derpcon so it wouldn't be awkward meeting them tomorrow. As I was scrolling, of course, there was another DM from Calum.

"Hope you're having a cozy and safe flight, see you later xx"

I felt my face scrunch up in confusion.

"Derpcon isn't today Calum, what are you talking about?"

"I'm not talking about derpcon, you'll see what I mean when you get to LA"

Well that's weird, I wonder what he's got planned. Probably something lame and cheesy for the fans flying in. Without another thought of it I decided to nap a bit before we landed in two more hours, more like an hour and a half now.

I woke up being shaken by Ashley, and I groggily sat upright and stretched as much as I could in the small space. "We're landing soon, fix your hair please," Ashley said. I stuck my tongue out in response and I began to take my hair out of its wrap and brush my thick hair out. I have naturally medium length hair but I wear small amounts of weave to add a bit of length to it So I have more options for hairstyles. After I was done brushing, combing, and teasing my hair I opened my phone to take a picture of the beautiful view outside the window before tweeting the picture along with "City of Angles, blessing".

"You're so lame for that caption," Ashley tweeted in response.

"Hey :( don't you love me?" I replied.

"You're on this plane with me aren't you?" she tweeted out.

"Touché," I replied.

We both looked up from our phones and burst into a fit of giggles. After a few moments we were instructed to fasten our seatbelts and we landed smoothly. My heart began to race as we exited the plane, letting all the impatient business men off first and slowly walking out of the gate to be greeted by two camera men and the 5sos boys themselves. "Holy shit," I said breathlessly.

"No swearing!" Ashton shouted, chastising me.

"Oh my God! I love you guys what the hell! Oh my God," Ashley exclaimed. "You guys are too tall for life, can you like crouch so we can hug you? We're literally like five feet tall" she asked politely.

They complied and Ashley hugged Michael and I hugged Ashton, while Calum laughed and Luke frowned, "I'm not that tall." Luke grumbled.

"Luke, I'm 5'2. You're all giants to me, don't feel bad," I cooed sympathetically. Ashley and I both took pictures and selfies with the boys while the cameramen filmed it all. After that Ashley's dad had to be off to a meeting so he left us after telling Ashley to let him know when we got to the hotel.

I asked about the cameras and Michael answered me saying, "Well, we're filming all of our derpcon winners arriving here and then we're sending you guys in a limo to your hotel with winners from another country as a way to get acquainted with each other. Also do you have anything you wanna say to the camera ladies?" Michael said.

"This is like Bad Girls Club," I blurted out before thinking. "You have no idea what that is do you?"

"Not the slightest clue," Ashton said while smiling.

"Well I'd like to say that all of you are officially boyfriend height so to every fan that was wondering, they're very date-able," Ashley said.

"Thanks for that," Michael said, sending a wink to her. She squealed and ran into his arms and hugged him again. "Hey Ash, how long until the next group gets here?"

"About 15 minutes," Ashton replied.

"Where're they from?" I asked.

"Spain," Calum said, "do either of you speak Spanish?"

"I do, Asha speaks French," Ashley said. They looked impressed, "we have foreign language requirements in New York to graduate."

"Cool, so can you like, French kiss too or is that not a part of the class?" Calum asked, obviously attempting to flirt.

"Boy bye," I said with a giggle. "I had to learn that on my own."

"Maybe you could teach me," he said, winking.

"I already said you're not about that swirl life Calum. Stop playing this game," I said, playing hard to get.

A chorus of "ooohhh"s erupted from the other boys and Ashley.

He smirked and said, "How would you know? I could be about that swirl life if I could-“

"Well that's enough of that, we have one more pair of winners to pick up at gate 16 before we have to get them to the hotel. No time to waste," Ashton says separating me from Calum.

Calum made a face at Ashton and he just responded with a chastising glare that caused Calum to shrink into himself and walk towards a different gate. _So Ashton is the tour mum,_ I thought to myself. As we walked I called my step-father, who I knew would just be waking up since it’s around 11 or something there I think.

“Jesus Asha, do you know what time it is?” he cried when he answered.

“No clue, like 11 something?” I guessed.

“Its 9 am Asha,” he informed me.

“Oops, I’m sorry. Well we landed a few minutes ago and the 5sos boys were there when we got off the plane so that was great,’ I said happily into the phone.

“That’s great sweetie. Are they totally amazingly beautiful in person?” he asked.

“They’re even better up close dad. I’ll let you get some sleep though. I’ll text you pictures of all of my derpcon adventures. Go back to bed, I love you,” I said.

“Goodnight Asha, have fun and I love you too,” he said before hanging up.

He and I are really close since he has been married to my mother since before I can even remember, he’s like my real father. My biological father does spend time with me sometimes but I don’t really feel like he’s my father. It’s not like he makes me feel like that it’s just that my step-dad lives with me and he’s there more often. I love them both but my biological dad is just that, biological, we share genetics and that’s really the only connection we have.

After we met up with the winners from Spain we found out they were fluent in English but it was easier for Ashley to just translate some stuff, which established that we’d be friends and spending time with one another. We’ve now arrived at the hotel and we’re waiting on the elevator to our floor. “Couldn’t we just take the stairs? What floor is it on again?” By the way, I am deathly afraid of elevators.

“It’s the twenty-third floor Asha, are you crazy?” Ashley retorted.

I sighed and brought my hand towards my mouth, preparing to bite my nails, but a hand, a more masculine hand, gripped my hand and gave it a light squeeze. I looked up to meet Calum’s beautiful brown eyes just as the elevator doors slid open and we stepped inside.

“Lads, I’ll be right back down in a minute,” he said in his thick accent towards the other band members.

He didn’t speak but he just held my hand the whole way up on the elevator, only letting go to hug the two Spanish girls goodbye since they were on floor 21. When the elevator resumed motion and jerked upwards I let out a little shriek and grasped his hand tighter. “It’s okay Asha, I’m right here, it’ll be okay,” he said lowly as he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a hug after releasing my hand. We stayed like that until the elevator dinged, signaling that we’d reached our floor.

“Thank you Calum, you’re really amazing. Really thank you for that,” I said, thanking him.

“Anything for a beautiful supporter that made me who I am today,” he said before breaking into a goofy grin that contagiously made me smile.

“Awww, cute!” Ashley shouted. I’d honestly forgotten she was with us until that moment.

He hugged Ashley and gave my hand a kiss before stepping back into the elevator and pressing the “L” button, heading back to the lobby to meet the other band members. “I took about 50 million pictures of you guys if you want to know what love looks like from the outside,” Ashley said.

“Seriously?” I asked excitedly. She nodded and I excitedly went through the shots on her phone, a smile forming on my lips, this is going to be a fun weekend.


	2. Oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a sucky filler chapter where Asha has a little bit of a lesbian encounter and Cake happens a little bit.

We spent a few hours just lounging around our hotel room, talking and watching old 5sos covers but I honestly couldn’t stop thinking about Calum. I mean I’m naturally sassy usually but I didn’t believe I’d be sassy with Calum and a camera right there. I wonder if that’s gonna make it into the video, I hope not. As I was thinking that Ashley’s face dropped and she went pale, well paler than her usual complexion. “Ash? What happened?”

She just gulped and turned her phone towards me. It was a tweet from a 5sos update page.

**_Calum with one of the Derpcon winners. She was afraid of elevators so he held her hand the whole way up. Anyone know her @?_ **

And below was a picture of him and me in the elevator. I walked over to my bed and fell face down into the comforter. “What am I gonna do? It’s only a matter of time until the connect that it’s me, I mean he tweeted me like last night, or yesterday morning, or however time zones work, but still, what am I gonna do?” I cried.

“Just let it play out, people might just be happy because you’re black and there’s always a shortage of black fans. It’ll be okay, let’s go shop, or go to the beach or something to take your mind off of it,” Ashley suggested.

“Okay, yeah. Wow, this is hilarious, I never played the race card, even going to a predominantly white school, and I’ve never done it till now. Oh well, let’s go to the beach,” I said.

Ashley got in the shower for nearly 15 minutes as I searched for a bathing suit, some shorts, and a talk top, and when she got out I went into the shower to wash off the uncomfortable feeling of airplane off of me. As I showered I decided to condition my hair since the few tracks I had in were human hair and If I went to the beach I’d be getting my hair wet anyways. As I conditioned my hair with care I felt my troubles fade away with each sudsy motion and after I rinsed my hair I wasn’t even worried about the mess on twitter. Once I stepped out of the bathroom, I moisturized with my favorite scented lotion and got dressed while Ashley did her hair in the bathroom. I had to wait for her to finish to blow dry my hair so I combed it out with a wide tooth comb before getting on my phone and going to twitter.

As I’d expected, people had figured out that it was me in the elevator but nothing mean was in my mentions or anything so I wasn’t stressing it. Someone even made an edit over the picture and it said _Real Bands Save Fans_ and it made me want to cry at how cute that was. I saved the picture and made it my home screen just as Ashley left the bathroom and said, “all yours.”

I pulled my diffuser blow dryer out of my bag and went into the bathroom with my comb and leave in conditioner. I poured some of my leave in into my hands and rubbed my palms together before spreading it throughout my whole head and repeating the process until my whole head was lightly coated with the substance. Then I parted my hair the way I wanted to wear it and started to blow-dry and diffuse in small sections. After every strand was kinky and curled I pulled them and stretched them to their full length before letting them spring into tight curls that hung down to my shoulder blades. The whole process took maybe 20 minutes which was record time since it usually takes me 45 minutes at least when I’m home but I didn’t want to spend too much time on curls that would drop by the time I would come back to the hotel.

After looking in the mirror for a few minutes, and taking a few selfies, I left the bathroom to put my goddess sandals on and grab the bag, I’d packed while Ashley was in the shower. “Ready?” I asked her, turning around and looking in her direction.

“Yup, let’s go,” she said before springing up from her bed and walking towards the door, following closely behind me, which is probably why when I stopped, surprised by the person outside the door she stepped on the back of my foot causing me to jump forward bumping into the tan teenager just outside the doorframe.

“Oh, uh, hi Asha, Ashley,” Calum waved, his cheeks turning light pink.

“Um, hello,” I said. It came out as more of a question than a greeting which was awkward.

“I think I left my phone, I’ll be back,” Ashley said before stepping fully into the room and closing the door, undoubtedly having her phone in her pocket but just wanting to give me and Calum a moment that wasn’t needed.

“What brings you here?” I asked even more awkwardly than my first statement.

“You,” he said, letting out a nervous chuckle. “I wanted to apologize if I came on too strong or anything, I’m new at trying to talk to girls and stuff. We're never places for long so we're forced to move kind of fast”

“I’m confused, didn’t you have a girlfriend before? You obviously knew what you were doing then so why doubt your technique now?”

“About that, I never really dated anyone. I just kinda had cover ups for uh….wow, this is hard to talk about. Can we go into your room and talk because, well, this is too private to talk about in a hotel hallway,” he replied.

I just nodded and slid the key card into the door and opened it, walking to sit on my bed. Ashley was sitting on her bed scrolling and typing on her phone only pausing to look up at us and murmur, “I guess we’re not going to the beach now,” before looking back at her phone.

“If you want I can get the rest of the guys to go with you to the beach, they’ve been begging to go to the boardwalk near the beach since we got here yesterday. They’d be glad to go with you and the other girls as well if you want,” Calum offered.

Ashley dropped her phone and ran to Calum to hug him before yelling, “Oh my God, yes please, Laura and Andrea would love to come too. Omg, how soon can we go?”

“They’re in the lobby waiting for me but this will probably be a long conversation so you can head over to the beach with them and we’ll meet you there later,” Calum suggested.

“Cool, see you guys later. If you have sex or something don’t make a mess please,” she said jokingly before heading out of the room to get Laura and Andrea.

“We won’t have sex,” I shouted behind her before the door slammed shut behind her.

“We could have sex if you want though,” Calum said, with a wink.

I just smashed my hands over my face feeling my face get hot, not that it’d show, due to my complexion. “Could you not,” I mumbled to him.

“Okay, okay. Now in all seriousness I want you to know that I do like you and it seems really weird and fast and whatever but the boys and I are on the road a lot and I don’t want to waste time playing the flirting games and wondering if you like me for real or not. So I’m just laying this out right here, right now. Do you want to get to know me this weekend and decide if you want to be with me?” he asked.

“Before I answer that I really want to know what you meant out in the hall when you said you dating anyone was a cover up?” I asked.

“Well, uh…I was dating someone, just never the girls I was rumored to be with,” he answered, stumbling over the words.

“So who were you dating then?” This isn’t adding up. If he started the rumors of him dating people then why wouldn’t he rumor himself with the girl he was actually dating?

“I was dating…L-Luke,” he said before looking down.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “So you had a gay phase or something?”

“Well, uh, I identify as a bisexual. That’s why I’m so aggressive. Gay guys are usually attracted to my dominance I guess. I didn’t know if girls were into that or not,” he answered, still hanging his head down.

“Well some girls like it. I like to be treated as an equal rather than being submissive.” I told him. “And as for getting to know you, the real you, this weekend: I’m up for it.”

“Really?” he said excitedly, looking up and into my eyes.

“Yes, really,” I replied with a smile, shortly followed by a giggle.

“You’re amazing, this is gonna be great,” he said jumping up off my bed and pulling me into a tight hug.

I smiled and hugged him back. Once I was released from his grasp I had a few more questions to ask though, “What happened between you and Luke?”

His smile vanished and his face paled. It took a moment but he finally answered, “Well, Luke and I were best friends for so long that when we dated, not much changed. The only real thing that changed was that we could have sex if we wanted to, which he wanted to do a lot, a lot more than I was comfortable with. We both wanted different things out of the relationship so after about a year we ended it and went back to being best friends, it was somewhat on and off for a while.”

It took a few seconds for his words to process in my mind. **_Cake was real._ ** That was literally all I could think. But then I realized that it would seem that Calum would be sex-crazed and Luke more reserved, not the other way around. “Wow, uh, that’s a lot. There’s no hard feelings or anything though right? Like, you guys went back to being best friends?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re still best friends, we just don’t have sex anymore. We sometimes kiss but we’ve kind of always done that, all four of us really, is that weird? Would you want that to stop?” he quizzed.

“If that’s what you do then I guess I can’t change that. I don’t want you to change how you interact with your best friends because of me, it’s fine,” I said with a smile. I’m happy he can be this open with me and tell me everything, well, hopefully everything. “Anything else I should know before I start this trial run?”

“I like to cuddle a lot so if you’re in this for the long haul you’re gonna need to get used to that,” he told me.

“That’s totally fine, who wouldn’t want to cuddle a hot bass player with an Australian accent?” I asked rhetorically.

He smiled at me and pulled me in for another hug. This time when he let go I grabbed my bag that I had laid down on the edge of my bed and left the room with his hand in mine. And when we stepped on the elevator, I honestly didn’t notice of care because a member of my favorite band was holding my hand and drawing circles on the back of it with his warm thumb. This is great, this is all I’ve ever wanted. _Too bad it won’t last._

Once we stepped out of the hotel hand in hand there were tons of fans surrounding the entrance, bombarding us with crazy questions. ** _Are you dating? Who is she? Since when did you like black girls? Why date her? Why aren’t you with all the winners? What makes her so special?_** I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I started to run back inside but Calum gripped my hand tighter and pulled me away from the mob and into the car that was awaiting us.

“I’m sorry for that, ignore what they said if it hurts your feelings. It doesn’t matter what they think, it’s just me and you,” he said soothingly.

“How did you know there’d be a car waiting for us?” I asked.

“Uh…look at the beach over there, isn’t it beautiful,” he said, avoiding the question.

“Did you know there’d be fans there? Did you know about that?” I asked.

“I-I…can we discuss this another time,” he said with his eyes low.

“Now’s as good a time as any Calum. Tell me what’s going on,” I said defiantly.

“I need you for publicity. I’m kinda on again with Luke and I needed a better cover up. I’m sorry, I love Luke but out management won’t let us come out until after tour is over. I just really needed to win you over and get you onboard with this. I’ll do anything you want if you do this for me,” he said with pleading eyes and both of his muscular, warm hands grasping mine.

I sighed and thought about this. I’d be living a lie but I guess it’d be worth it, “I’ll do it. As long as we can at least be friends throughout this charade.”

“Deal,” he agreed with a smile, the smile so many teenage girls had fallen in love with.

 

While in the car, he’d texted the guys and asked where they were and had the driver take us where they had instructed us to go. Once we got out of the car we only spotted Ashley, Laura, Andrea, and Ashton. “Where’re Luke and Mikey?” Calum tried to ask casually but I saw through the act.

“Bathroom,” Ashton answered.

“Speaking of bathroom, we need to talk, we’ll be right back,” Ashley said, pulling me, I’m guessing, in the direction of the bathrooms. When we turned to go into the bathrooms we heard something that made us stop, “Mikey,’ the voice moaned.

“Shut up Luke, someone’ll hear,” the second voice hissed back.

Ashley and I were both shocked but hearing that had a harder impact on me because of what Calum had told me just a few minutes prior to this. Luke was cheating and Calum was lying to fans and making up relationships to be with him, plus he stress of going back and forth with him. _Calum deserves so much better than that,_ I thought, _he deserves someone faithful and honest._

“Asha, calm the hell down, Michael and Luke were hooking up its fine. Aren’t you a muke shipper? What’s the problem?” Ashley whispered in confusion.

“It’s just…I never thought it’d be real, and we can’t even tell anyone about it,” I whispered back, lying to her face. I have to tell Calum but it’d break his heart. What am I gonna do?

Ashley, Laura, Andrea, and I walked from the beach towards the famous City-Walk where we went to a cute little café called Sun Café for brunch since it was now 12 and the boys went to greet the other winners who were expected to get here sometime this afternoon. I’d learned that Laura’s English was actually pretty good, it was just her accent that confused me a bit but Andrea on the other hand always spoke in broken English and mixed in a few Spanish words here and there, which was fine since I took intro to Spanish before I switched to French in 10th grade. ( _A/N I’m not from California so I have no clue if any of this is real but my dad grew up there and he told me that citywalk is a cool place of whatever and I also have no clue if there is even a beach in walking distance of citywalk but let’s pretend there is bc its Cali so yeah_ )

“Something troubles you, si?” Andrea asked with a worried expression on her face.

“Just worried about my sister, I always help her with homework and now she has to do it alone,” I replied. We didn’t tell Andrea and Laura about Michael and Luke because they were the ones who exposed the pictures of Calum and I and we didn’t really trust them now to keep something this big a secret.

Andrea furrowed her eyebrows and Laura fluently translated what I had said and she nodded understandingly. Seconds later the waitress appeared with the drinks we ordered. I was the only one who ordered a soda, the other three ordered alcoholic beverages even though it felt way too early to be drinking to me. Plus, you have to be 21 to drink here and I didn’t bring my fake ID, while Ashley did and the waitress didn’t even ask them for id.

“Now what will you beautiful ladies like to eat this afternoon?” the waitress asked with a smile. Her nametag read Natalie and she seemed nice enough, almost too nice actually.

“I’ll have a bacon chicken sandwich with fries and honey mustard,” I said quickly. The waitress smiled and winked at me…ok, that’s weird.

Forty-five minutes and three refills later the girls were all a drunken mess. After paying for everyone since they were too drunk to even locate their wallets I grabbed my purse and escorted my drunken companions out of the door. Well almost out of the door, when Natalie came to my aide and helped me guide the three drunken girls out. “Thanks,” I said, giving her a nod. I expected her to go back inside and continue working but she didn’t have on her apron anymore so I assume her shift is over. “Is there something you wanted?”

“My shift’s over and I just wanna help you with these three since you’ve obviously got your hands full with them,” Nicole offers.

“Uh, well thanks-“

“Asha, I think the waitress thinks you’re hot,” Ashley says in an attempt to whisper causing me to awkwardly look down.

“I think your friend is right Asha,” Natalie said.

“Well isn’t that great. The hotel is right down there so we should get moving,” I said in a bad attempt to change the subject. Natalie just chuckled and helped me get the girls to the hotel and into their rooms. It’s literally not even two in the afternoon and they’re drunk like this. I’ve had my share of party fouls in high school to know that they’d be fine with a two hour nap and they wouldn’t be hung-over when they woke up from some cocktails. We’d finally put Drea, Laura, and Ashley to sleep in Ashley’s bed since I had no clue where they kept their room key, let alone where their room was.

“Fun afternoon for you huh? Watching your friends get piss drunk off of a few cocktails,” Natalie commented.

“Would you mind showing me around for an hour or two? Doing something fun with me until they wake up since I’m only here for the weekend and I don’t want to waste it babysitting.

She held her hand out politely guiding me up to my feet and smiled, “I’d love to show you around darling.”

Ok, I admit, I'm using her lesbian crush on me to kill time before the dinner and the concert because I literally have nothing better to do. Natalie took me a bunch of places and she helped me get my slightly hangover group of friends dressed and ready for the concert. She walked them out to the bus with me and we agreed to go out to dinner after the show. She even gave me a goodbye kiss which I admit, wasn't terrible or anything. It was actually kind of sweet, she tasted like strawberry lip gloss. I'm not a lesbian or anything but after tonight I couldn't truthfully call myself straight either, but I guess that'll be my own little secret for now.

 

 

**Luke**

The boys and I have literally been in this airport so many times today I want to die. How haven’t the fans spotted us going in and out picking up the winners? Whatever, I’m glad they haven’t spotted us. I love our fans but sometimes they can tire us out, and by sometimes I mean all the time. I mean, I love them and they’re the ones who made us who we are but sometimes I just wish they’d chill out and not scream so loud. I wish every fan was the kind of fan that could joke with us and act like an old friend of ours when we met them but of course we’re celebrities and that could never happen.

“Luke you dick, its show time,” Michael said, sending me a wink once we made eye contact and no one else saw.

I smiled and felt my face get hot, I’m probably the color of roses right now. I do love Cal but Michael makes me so… _hot_. He makes me feel so, I don’t know, _pretty_. Most people don’t know but I love being submissive but I’m also kind of into _that_ _stuff_ and Cal’s never been comfortable with the stuff that Michael’s more experimental to try, like being an exhibitionist. Earlier today we did it on the bathroom sink while Cal was with that girl, I know there are probably millions of diseases I could get from that but being with Michael makes up for those risks.

As I was wrapped up in thoughts of Michael, Cal came over and put his arm around my shoulders, “babe, maybe we can squeeze in a quickie right after the show. I know how you like to do it in weird places.”

Little did he know I’ve had my dose of weird place unplanned hot sex for the day. “It’s been a long day babe, I just wanna cuddle tonight,” I said before tilting my head to kiss him. _I wonder if he can taste Michael’s cum on my lips from earlier._

“Fine babe, then we’ll cuddle. It’s whatever you want from now on. I got a cover up, Asha, she’s one of the winners, now you can leave all the marks you want, I know you like that shit,” Calum said against my lips.

I smiled and kissed him again, when I pulled away I caught a death glare from Michael and almost burst into a fit of laughter. He was jealous of my boyfriend kissing me? Technically, Ash and Mikey think me and Cal are off again but we talked things out and decided to try again on the way here from Pheonix. I guess they just assumed we were back on because we're kissing now.

After a few more shared kisses and I love you’s we went out to perform. I think it was our best show yet but I kind of think each time we perform we get progressively better and make our true fans more proud each time. Though it was a good show I didn’t interact much with the boys, I mean one was my boyfriend, who I’ve just recently started cheating on and the other being who I’m cheating on my boyfriend with. It’s a bit awkward and if it’s avoidable I’ll avoid it to the death of me.

Once we made it back to the hotel, the same one the winners were staying in, we decided to fuck with them and play a little ding dong ditch. We did it to almost every winner before splitting up to cause as much mayhem as possible before midnight. I was on the same floor as Calum’s cover-up girl, I know this because she was standing there outside of her door. “Hi Luke,” she said with a fake smile and a hint of something in her voice, distaste maybe. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I nodded and walked over before being rudely shoved into her hotel room where there were three sleeping girls on one bed and an empty, neatly made bed on the other side of the room. “What’s going on here?” I asked.

“They got drunk earlier and when they woke up from their nap they proceeded to get hammered again after the concert. They’re gonna have killer hang-overs tomorrow. But I don’t wanna talk to you about that. I want to talk about why you’re cheating on Cal.”

My eyes bulged out of my head as I looked at her in shock, “what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you hooking up with Michael in the bathroom and being loud enough that we’d heard in the girls’ room. Why are you cheating on Cal?”

“He doesn’t- wait why should I explain myself to you?” I asked with a scoff.

“I should tell him that you’re cheating on him. He doesn’t deserve this, you don’t deserve him,” she argued.

“And who does deserve him? You? Ha, as if. And if you tell him he’ll think you’re lying just to get him vulnerable and take advantage of him,” I said triumphantly.

“He probably would,” she agreed. “I Just wanted to scare you into treating him the way he deserves to be treated. He's precious, you all are and you all deserve the very best of everyone you're with."

That actually made me stop and realize how wrong I was, how wrong I am for what I did. I feel shitty. I have to tell Cal. "You're right. I have to be 100% for Calum because he deserves the world. I'm going to tell him the truth. It's not worth losing the best boyfriend and one of my best friends in the world," I said.

She smiled and opened her arms for a hug, which I accepted and hugged her while spinning her a bit. I left her room and texted Calum.

**We need to talk.**


	3. An unexpected friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Asha Become friends and he's a cute little shit.

 

I do feel a bit bad about guilting Luke but he deserves it. Why on earth would he cheat on Calum? And with someone else in the band no less. That’s terrible and me guiltung him doesn't make up for it, but it's a start, or at least that’s how I see it. Maybe I should’ve just told Calum, guilting people is wrong and my mom always said two wrongs don’t make a right. I sighed and made a mental note to apologize to Luke in the morning since they were probably sleeping or something because they have another show tomorrow. I didn’t mean to be so evil it’s just that Calum has always been the one that I liked most, though I would never admit it because well, all of the boys are amazing a ridiculously talented and hot and- I’m getting sidetracked now. I just don’t think any of the boys, especially Calum, deserve to be cheated on and lied to by someone who they trust as much as Calum trusts Luke.

I turned to the clock on the bedside table, it’s nearly 4 am. I’ve been up all night since the concert thinking about what I’m going to do and only now have I come to a decision. I’m not even sleepy yet, barely coming down from the concert high from just hours before, watching the boys rock their biggest headliner show yet. I haven’t been a fan since the very start but I’ve been along for the ride long enough to be super proud of the guys, but realizing that I probably won’t see them preform until next September is giving me a serious case of post-concert depression so I decided to scroll on my phone to take my mind off of things. The first thing I notice when I unlock my phone is that I have multiple messages from my parents and my sister, which I immediately respond to with an overload of emoji to explain the whole experience so far, then I check the responses to the snapchats I sent out during the concert which are mostly funny faces with captions like “ermahgarddd” from my fandom friends, and lastly I open twitter which is pretty awake since its only 1 on the east coast where most of the people I’m following are from. I just scroll and creep for a little while, retweeting funny things and food porn posts until a new dm pops up which I open immediately and am shocked to see who It’s from. Luke dmd me and he followed me directly after I opened the message, I make a mental note to fan girl about this later. His message says:

_**I’ve ended things with Michael and I hope you take my word for it when I say I’ll tell Calum myself after the concert tomorrow night. By the end of this trip only Ashton will be talking to me, and that’s only if he doesn’t kill me for being such a fuck up first. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this but I am because I trust you, I hope that you trust me one day because you seem really great 2morrow you can come hang out backstage if you want, don’t tell anyone & let me know if you’ll come so I can tell security to let you in.** _

I read everything over twice before I responded:

**_It’s not my trust that you have to earn back, its Calum’s tbh & I’ll come tomorrow bc I want to apologize for my irrational actions in person. Also, I’ve heard that there are nachos at catering and I would like some, I would also like to be your friend and help you not do dumb shit like this in the future so there’s that_ **

He replied instantly:

_**I’d like that, goodnight new friend** _

I smiled before replying:

**_Goodnight buddy_**


	4. Potentially Problematic

I woke up at 8:00 later that morning to the noise of knocking on the door and a blow-dryer. “If you’re using my blow-dryer I will drop kick you Ashley,” I said groggily with a yawn. “There’s someone at the door, go answer it bitch,” I said, annoyed at the constant knocking.

I heard Ashley turn off the blow-dryer before she left the bathroom to open the door with still damp hair that left a wet patch on the back of her t-shirt. “Who is it,” she asked in a sing song voice.

“Um, it’s Calum, Is Asha awake yet? I need to talk to her,” he said shakily. I ran into the bathroom and said, “I’ll be ready in a minute.”

Ashley let Calum in and I hear a bed creak as though someone had sat on it and assumed that he was sitting on my bed. I quickly and vigorously brushed my teeth and washed my face before taking my hair down and brushing it out, not bothering to do anything but put it in a ponytail before considering if I would put on makeup or not, which ended up being a no. I’d showered when we got in from the concert last night so I just rolled on some deodorant and put on some scented lotion before giving myself one last glance in the mirror and walking out to see a puffy eyed Calum curled up on my bed. Ashley went back into the bathroom to continue to blow-dry her hair and I asked Calum, “What’s wrong babe?” as I sat beside him on my bed rubbing his back.

“Last night I overheard Luke and Michael arguing about something but I just assumed it was FIFA or who’s a better guitar player or something but afterwards Luke went into his room pissed off and Michael came into mine and said they were having a secret affair for months and I didn’t know what to do so I snuck into Ashton’s bed for a cuddle and he didn’t ask any questions but I knew he would when he woke up so I got up early and snuck out of the room and came here because we’re friends now and I needed someone outside of my band to be here for me. I’m sorry I’m taking over your bed and crying on your pillows and stuff but I’ve never been in love like I am with Luke and what he did hurt me so badly and I just didn’t know what to do.”

I know at that point my eyes must’ve bulged out of my head. Calum knows. I can’t just lie and pretend I didn’t know and before I think it through I’m saying, “Maybe you should talk to Luke.” Calum’s sob catches in his throat and he’s looking at me with his sad puppy eyes and I feel so bad. “I spoke to him and I told him that he was shitty for doing that to you and I told him to apologize so maybe you should hear it from him, he said he was going to tell you tonight after the show but since you know now-“

“You knew? You fucking knew for a whole day and you spoke to me and looked me in my eyes and didn’t fucking tell me? You’re just as bad as him! I’m obviously a poor fucking judge of character, I trusted you, I trusted Luke, I trusted Michael, and all of you fucking betrayed me! That fucking hurts! You know what, forget I ever said we could be friends, we can’t! I’m leaving, I guess Ashton’s the only person I can trust because everyone else is terrible and a liar!” and with that he got up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind himself.

After Calum left it didn’t take much help from me for Ashley to figure out what had happened between Calum and Luke and Calum and I. Today was the day that we head to “Derp Rock City” for pictures, meet and greet, an acoustic show and a Q and A but honestly, I didn’t want to get up. I just wanted to lay in bed until it was time to head back home. I would’ve done it if it wasn’t for Ashley practically getting me dressed and ready herself and pulling me out of the door to the “derpcon” space. Everything just kind of went on around me because I was in a haze. I had fucked up my one chance with being friends with a member of my favorite band because I made a bad judgment call and now there’s no turning back.

After we arrived at Paramount and took our red carpet pictures we went to the Awkward Family photos station, which seemed like a weird title but Ashley and I brushed it off and when it was our turn, we went in to find the boys standing there with smiles plastered on their faces, but when Calum saw me his smile faltered and Luke’s posture stiffened while Ashton and Michael were unknowing of what I’d done to hurt Calum. I awkwardly hugged them all and Ashley followed suit and we took our picture, Luke making jokes in my ear to cheer me up, which only half worked.

“Calum, I just want to say I’m sorry, I really thought what I did was right, I hope you can forgive me,” I said as I hugged him goodbye.

He just scoffed and turned to wait for the next fan to arrive as we were ushered out. I sighed and moved along. “He’ll never forgive me will he? I had one shot at being friends with someone I’ve fangirled over hundreds of times and I blew it on something stupid.”

"Don’t beat yourself up, he’ll forgive you one day. He can’t hold a grudge forever,” Ashley said reassuringly.

                “He doesn’t have to see me for the rest of my life, He could literally avoid me so much that it won’t matter to him if he’s mad or not because I’ll just be another face in a crowd,” I said sadly.

“Touché.”

Majority of the day was spent hanging around the other winners, I ended up with a group of French speaking winners because I enjoy speaking French and if I was with them Ashley wouldn’t be able to ask me questions about Calum or poorly reassure me that he’d forgive me. Virtual 5sos was my favorite part of the day because as a fan I got to be a part of the recording process with them which was swoon-worthy in my opinion. When it was time for lunch I found Ashley again and we sat and talked about the funniest parts of the day and eventually we got back to talking about Calum, and Luke.

“What’s up between you and Luke? He was probably flirting with you because you can turn gay guys straight obviously,” Ashley said with a snort of laughter.

“Hey, Luke’s not gay. Also, we kind of had a heart to heart type thing at 4 am. A d, do you want to go to the show tonight? Luke wants to bring us backstage to hang out,” I said.

“He really only wants to bring you so he can love you with all his heart but since we’re a package deal he invited me too,” she said. I threw a gummy worm at her for that one. “Okay, I deserved that but yeah, I’d love to go but we’d have to pack our stuff as soon as we leave here because we fly back home at 8 am and I’m not really here for leaving stuff because I decided to rush packing after a concert with severe PCD.”

“Kay so after we leave here we’ll pack and head over to the concert. I’ll tell him we’re coming,” I said before I pulled out my phone and dmd Luke that we’d be coming. He replied with a very strange selfie. I laughed and sent him a selfie back before putting my phone away and going to socialize with people I haven’t met yet.

After lunch the boys did a surprise acoustic session which was pretty cool because it felt very intimate and friendly like we were all best buddies just hanging out. I couldn’t tell if Calum had genuinely forgiven Luke and Michael or his love of the fans just overshadowed his distaste for his bandmates, but whatever the case was he seemed genuinely happy to be onstage between Michael and Luke which made me smile.

We finally were dropped off at the hotel and we had an early goodbye dinner with all of the winners which was fun and it was a great way for everyone to say goodbye to people that they probably would never see ever again and exchange numbers, twitters, and whatnot. After the dinner Ashley and I rushed up to our room to pack quickly so we could head to the concert at 9. Luke had dmd me his number earlier so when we arrived at the forum for the second time this weekend I called him and he sent security to get us and take us to the boys’ dressing room. When we knocked, Luke excitedly opened the door and hugged me, which I internally fangirled at because, well, Luke freaking Hemmings is touching me. Calum rolled his eyes at me and said hello to Ashley, completely ignoring me which tore me to pieces on the inside.

“Okay so Luke, I’m sorry that when I first found out I tried to guilt you, that was evil and the wrong thing to do and two wrongs don’t make a right and I’m sorry,” I said to Luke. He just smiled and hugged me again. “Calum, I’m really sorry for not telling you as soon as I found out because I really didn’t want to be the one to tell you, I really believed that Luke should’ve been the one to tell you and I’m sorry.”

He rolled his eyes again before saying, “do you really think your bullshit apology will make up for anything? I trusted you and told you everything, which I guess is my fault since I’d only known you a day when I put all of that trust in you, and I expected you to be on my side but no, you fucking knew and didn’t say anything about it at all, which is fucking terrible. Lets say your boyfriend was cheating on you and Ashley knew, would you want her to not say anything at all? Because that’s what it was like for me! Don’t apologize to me, don’t even fucking talk to me! You hurt me and I really thought we could be good friends! Just stay away from me!”

Hearing those words broke my heart because even though he hasn’t known me for more than two days, I’ve been a fan for two years and it feels like a friend that I’ve cared about for all of that time is saying this to me. I want to cry and scream but I have no right to do that so I slowly nod and say, “You wouldn't have believed me even if I did try telling you, but if that’s what you want then I’ll do that. Just know that I’m sorry. It was nice meeting you all but I think I should go now.”

Ashley came to my side from where she was sitting making small talk with Ashton and walked out of the room with me. I heard footsteps behind us and then Luke was in front of me, his blue eyes staring into my brown ones, and he was hugging me again. “Everything will be fine Asha, he’ll forgive you, you’ll be fine.”

With his words I started to cry and him and Ashley squished me in a group hug. “Don’t cry, what can I do to make it better? What do you want?” Luke asked.

“I just want Calum,” I cried.

 

The next morning we went back home, I’d gotten over myself and realized that I screwed things up for Ashley too by making that mistake but she wasn’t too bummed out about it since she didnt want me to feel bad. My mother picked us up at the airport and brought Ashley and I to my house before heading to work since Ashley’s mom wouldn’t be home until later that night and her dad was still in California for business. We lounged around my room for a while, ultimately Ashley went to sleep in my bed which was pretty usual since she was here so much that she practically lived here. I stayed up, listening to music and doing extra credit for biology since I have a B and my mom would freak out about that if it was my final grade. When my sister woke up I helped her with her homework before she went to hang out with her friends. Then I was just scrolling on tumblr when I saw a picture of Ashley Luke and I in a group hug saying “Luke with two fans backstage at last night’s concert”. I stared at it for a while, trying to think how anyone could have even gotten that picture before I brushed it off as just some very dedicated fans that snuck backstage to get pictures for blogs like that one. My phone made a noise, signaling that I had a text message and I opened it. It was from Luke, it said

I know how you can win Calum over and make him forgive you! I can help you get what you want!

I read it over and replied with “how” and after he explained the plan I did a little happy dance. I can get what I want!!

Luke’s plan starts with me coincidentally ending up at Taylor swift’s birthday party. This is literally a huge deal for me, I LOVE Taylor Swift. Like a lot. Like I listen to 1989 like it’s a religion, which it pretty much is. So on the night of the party I found myself entering her home with Luke holding my hand because I’m shaking so hard from nerves, also we had to take the elevator to the top floor which terrified me. Luke slipped away from the other boys by saying he needed to call his mom before he went into the party, then he waited for me in the lobby to enter and when the security asked who I was he responded for me by saying “she’s with me,” which made my heart melt because, even if Luke was gay or whatever he was, he’s totally hot and who wouldn’t want to be “with” someone as hot as him, even if we are just friends.

“I can’t do this Luke. Selena Gomez is here, freaking you’re here, this is Taylor Swift’s house for Christ’s sake!” I whined.

“Just be cool, you have to be cool or this won’t work, relax. I’m here with you, I’ll stay with you all night okay,” he said, giving my hand an assuring squeeze.

I smiled because, Luke freaking Hemmings is holding my hand and reassuring me! How did I even end up here? I took a deep breath and walked further into the throng of bodies crowding the dance floor and before I knew it, itI was four shots of whiskey later and I was dancing so close to Luke that the air he exhaled was the same air I inhaled and vice versa, which must’ve sucked for him because my breath has to smell like 100% whiskey right now. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating my drunkenness to excuse the not-so-subtle advances I keep making at Luke because I’m bored and he’s hot.

“The plan is working,” he whispers in my ear as he looked at something behind me. I turned to see Calum staring at me, or rather my butt, which I would’ve found offensive in different circumstances. I laughed in response to Luke and started swinging my hips just a little bit harder as I danced. Luke shook his head and continued to dance with me.

Two songs later I was sitting on a fancy and expensive looking couch next to Luke who was caressing my thigh softly and looking around the room absentmindedly. “Is Calum being nicer to you yet?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“He’s not hostile anymore so I guess that’s good. Has he refollowed you, yet?” he asked in return.

“No, I don’t think he will,” I replied sadly. “Luke are you like fully gay?”

“No, why?” he countered.

“Well you’re hot and like I wanna do you so I’d be sad if that was one hundred percent impossible,” I answered. His eyes popped out of his head for a second before he decided to laugh.

“How drunk are you?” he asked with a smirk.

“What are you doing here?” an angry voice asked. I didn’t have to look to know it was Cal. “Are you two in cahoots now?”

“No Calum, can’t I celebrate Taylor swift’s birthday with her? What are you, security or something?” I asked, my voice dripping in sass.

“You know what fuck it. Fuck you both, you fucking broke my heart,” he said to Luke before turning to me and saying, “and you fucking assisted him. Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me? What’s wrong with you? Fucking idiot.”

He started to storm off but I leapt up and grabbed his arm, turning him to face me, “listen here, I though what I did was right, I get that you don’t agree but at the end of the day what’s done is done and we can’t undo it so stop being a mopey little shit and forgive me, I told you sorry plenty of times and I am sorry that you can’t see that I did what I did to help you, not to hurt you. Plus, lets’ be real, if a fan tried to convince you that your boyfriend was cheating on you, you would get defensive and hate that fan anyway so let’s skip you hating me and get to you forgiving us both. We both fucking love you and we both messed up but we’ve been trying to make up for it for a month now and you haven’t even told us how we could make it up to you. You can’t be mad at us and not tell us how to make it right, that’s unfair Cal.”

“You know how you can repay me? Both of you can go to hell!” and with his words he broke free of my grasp and stormed off, with every step he crushed my heart even more, and for the second time since I met him he killed me from the inside.

It’s been 2 days since the whole ordeal and since we’re on break from school, I stayed in bed for both of those days, only breaking this cycle to take showers, use the bathroom, and get more junk food to binge eat while watching movies. I haven’t been talking much to anyone besides Ashley and Luke, my parents and sister have tried to get me out of my room but I only slip out to shower at nearly 2 am and I only eat around 4 am so they’ve hardly gotten a glimpse of me which is probably for the best because my eyes are bloodshot and swollen from all the crying I’ve been doing from the hurting feeling that Calum left in my heart. Around 12, I was woken up by movement in my bed and then two long arms wrapping around me, followed by another person jumping on my bed. Of course Luke and Ashley would wake me up like this, I need new friends.

“Get off and get out,” I groaned, rolling over and snuggling into myself.

“Oh come on Asha! It’s time to stop crying now, fuck Calum,” Ashley said.

“I have and it’s not that great so you’re not missing anything,” Luke teased. Even in my sadness I had to laugh at that, Luke’s such a fucking joker. He pulled me closer to him so he could cuddle my unwilling body. I groaned and struggled to break free of his grasp, and I failed miserably. “Don’t fight it, you love my cuddles,” he shouted.

“I don’t want these cuddles, noooooo,” I shouted.

“Would you shut up in here, some of us are trying to read and do break packets,” my sister said as she harshly opened the door with a frown on her face.

“I’m sorry Bre, I have loser friends and they’re loud. Who even let you two in here?” I asked.

“Your mom actually called my mom because you were being a fucking mope-ball so Luke and I planned a sneak attack and your mom was in on it,” Ashley explained.

“Mom! You’re a traitor,” I said dramatically.

Eventually we settled down enough for the three of us to cuddle up under my blankets and have a movie marathon of my choice. Of course I chose to watch all three men in black movies, followed by Hitch and Handcock because who doesn’t love Will Smith? After the second Men in Black, Breanna decided to join us and she joined the snuggle between me and Ashley, with Luke on my other side. In the end we all fell asleep and I’m honestly surprised my mom didn’t kick Luke out, my stepdad probably convinced her it would be okay since the door was open and their bedroom was directly across the hall from mine. I woke up at 1 the next day and smiled at the people surrounding me. I’m cuddles in between people who love me and that’s all that matters.

 

 

 

 

It’s the night before we went back to school from winter break and I’m staying over at Ashley’s tonight so we could head there together, because if you’re going to hell you may as well bring a friend I suppose. We had been studying for SAT retakes since 2 in the afternoon and it was now 11 at night and Luke is packing up to head back to his hotel and pack, since the boys were flying back home in the morning. He’s excited to go back to his parents, brothers and even his dog, while Ashley and I are just excited to get higher marks on our SATs so we can get accepted into colleges with financial aid so we can spend our money on better things. “Hey Asha, I’m leaving one of my picks in your bag so you don’t forget I’m alive, I’m leaving you one of my bracelets Ashley,” Luke said before rustling in my bag. “What the hell is this Asha?”

I looked up from my notebook to see him holding a small pill bottle, looking rather upset and confused. “Relax Luke, it’s just Adderall to help me study. It’s no big deal,” I said.

“Yeah, I mean I have a prescription too, its fine Luke,” Ashley said, not looking up from her book. We usually don’t use drugs to study but as the test gets closer and there’s more and more pressure we’ve started to obtain the habits of our classmates. We only use them to study so it’s not technically drug abuse or anything like that.

“No it is a big deal! What the fuck? These are drugs! Like real life drugs that you shouldn’t be taking! These aren’t even prescribed to you!” Luke shouted.

“Luke chill, once we finish testing we’ll quit them and everything will be okay. It’ll be fine Luke, now hurry up and go so you can pack. We love you and we’ll miss you, have fun at home,” I said as I got up and hugged him.

“Whatever,” he said, hugging me back. He put the pill bottle back in my bag along with his guitar pick and placing his lucky bracelet on Ashley’s dresser.

“Bye Lukey Poo, we love you, have fun at home, enjoy your summer while we freeze to death here,” Ashley said while hugging him.

After he left we studied until it was morning and we shared a goodbye phone call before he boarded his flight home. In retrospect we should’ve listened to him about how drugs can do bad things but we didn’t so no sense in over-analyzing it. That day at school I passed out and went into cardiac arrest from the effects the drugs had on my heart, it caused my blood to pump faster, overworking my heart. I had only been on the drugs for a couple of weeks and I took them a lot less often than my classmates but I guess someone had to be the example that drugs, kind of like sex, only take one time to ruin your life. My classmates were tweeting me get well wishes and I thanked them so that must’ve been how Luke and Calum found out I was in the hospital because on my second day in the hospital they showed up with worried looks plastered on their cute Australian faces. Luke looked torn to pieces and Calum looked the same, they’ve been just standing next to my bed in silence for a few minutes now, the only noise in the room coming from my heart monitor.

“You can talk to me you know, I won’t have a heart attack or anything, at least I’ll try not to,” I said, in an attempt to lighten the mood. Ashley laughed from where she was sitting on the other side of the room.

“It’s not fucking funny Asha! You could’ve died! I should’ve taken those pills from you when I had the chance! You could’ve died and you’re here making jokes! Christ, what’s wrong with you,” Luke shouted.

“I didn’t realize that the way I fucking cope offended you so much Luke, my bad,” I shot back.

“You did this to yourself and you’re making jokes about it, now you’re getting snappy at me for it when I told you this was a bad idea! You don’t get to feel anything but guilty for this. You don’t even care that there are people who love you and care and would rather you would be alive than pass some stupid fucking test! Yes that fucking offends me and I’m not sorry for saying it because obviously no one else will,” he yelled.

“Shut up Luke! Can’t you see she’s hurting! She’s laying in a fucking hospital bed with like 20 wires coming out of her. Don’t be a douche,” Calum said, causing all of us to look surprised.

“Fuck you Calum, you don’t get to defend me. Why are you even here? Don’t you still hate me?” I snapped.

“I…I don’t hate you. I was trying to forgive you and then I saw that you’d been hospitalized and everything got clear. I need you and I get that what you did wasn’t that bad and you thought that it was right and I forgive you, I forgive you both actually, not that I would’ve had a choice because I’m guessing you guys are best friends now since I kinda isolated you from the band. Anyway, I forgive you and I want you to get better and then graduate and come with us on tour and stuff,” Calum said.

“Okay…..well that’s a lot…I don’t know what to say,” I replied blandly.

“You don’t have to say anything, just focus on getting better and know that I’m on your side now,” Calum said softly.

I smiled for the first time since I’d been in that stupid hospital bed. I finally got him to forgive me, now all that’s left is getting the hell out of high school. Also, getting into any college at all would be pretty cool because if I don’t then I’m out of options. I’d be stuck at like McDonalds or some shit for the rest of my life. I suddenly feel someone shaking me, I look to my right and see Ashley mouthing words but I can’t hear her. I’m trying to ask her what she’s saying but everything goes black before I get that far.


End file.
